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You just can’t expect integrity, ever.

December 16, 2015

Let me start this post by saying one VERY clear thing.

Anything, and every single thing I am about to type, in no way shape or form represents ANYONE’S opinion, thoughts, feelings, on ANY subject I am about to talk to but mine.

This will be a loooong post. I lack the ability to be short and concise, always have. Also, being this long the print media won’t be able to repeat it, just cut, paste and hack how they need to, to shape whatever narrative they’re after. Everyone else will just link to it.

I would prefer to speak my piece first, but I’ll let you read this article before I do.

I am linking it here, and from the FB, Twitter, Google and other “shares”, you clicking on the link will increase the audience there by like 1000%.

Now there are folks out there that will say “So what?” and “Who cares?”. There will be folks that look at that, who don’t know me, and think I’m an idiot. Hell some folks that do know me will likely think that.

It’s not the lies, those are written every single day. It’s the complete and utter lack of accountability combined with the spineless, gutless, weak ass no talent hack(s) that wrote it, and didn’t have a set big enough to put their names on it. Oh they likely will now since their readership went up like 44,000%, but that’s to be expected.

I’m going to give anyone wanting to read on, the actual facts behind this and let you do what you will with them.

I’ll cut and paste here, in full, and reply after.

In the meantime, Schilling’s troubled post-baseball life continues to alternately unfold and unravel. On Tuesday, he is expected to ignore a subpoena by the Rhode Island House Oversight Committee that wants answers to why his video game company failed so spectacularly.

Since leaving baseball in 2008, Schilling has endured cancer, successfully defended his daughter’s honor against Twitter trolls (to the cheers of parents everywhere), been suspended from his ESPN baseball analyst’s job for anti-Muslim observations, and watched nearly his entire fortune of more than $50 million disappear.

His name is especially controversial in Rhode Island, where Schilling persuaded legislators to stake him to $75 million in small-business loan aid. An investment that could have been spread to dozens of small business, but instead went to a famous sports star, is all gone – and taxpayers who were left with the bill want answers, as do their elected leaders.

 

  1. Unravel? Unfold? How exactly? I had a heart attack because I had a horrible nutrition (or lack of) program and a lot of stress. Combined with a family history of heart disease and VOILA! No ones fault but my own.
  2. Endured? I had cancer. I dipped for 33 years. What in the hell did I expect to happen? Like 100% of everyone else that dips and smokes I lived a life of “not gonna happen to me”, until it did. Again, 100% on me.
  3. I started a company, with 100% of my own money. Put over 50 million dollars of my own money in, and failed to raise the final traunch of capital needed to launch our 2nd game. That sucks, and as far as pain that will likely go to my grave with me when all things are factored in. 400 some jobs created, saved over 5+ years, an amazing RPG that totally outperformed expectations (contrary to what the resident horse shoe guy said). Again, this was mostly on me. I was the single biggest reason we didn’t make it, Mrs Chaffee was a close 2nd after starting his ‘scorched earth’ campaign. I also can’t let this go without making it abundantly clear how devastating this was. I lost what I thought were 3-400 ‘family’ when I let this company fail. I will never ever get past that, and it being mainly my fault maybe I shouldn’t. I hurt families and dear friends in ways that were never ever supposed to be. The last two months were so far from the first 5 years it is hard to imagine. I did everything possible, including throwing in about 25m more once we moved, to make this survive and it failed. I’ve never been able to properly address the families that were devastated by this and I am unsure I ever will be able to make that right. The ending was far bloodier than anyone ever deserved. The crushing memory I have is of citizens in RI standing in front of our building protesting and heckling EMPLOYEES who’s company had just gone bankrupt through absolutely ZERO fault of their own. Tax paying RI citizens who lost their jobs, and idiots were standing on the street actually heckling them. There’s a special place down there for you clowns. When the story finally is made public, and everyone is able to hear how this happened, and the staggering ineptitude put on display by the then Governor and his ‘staff’, I assume people will be even more livid and more stunned. The sheer ignorance and stupidity that they exhibited is truly stuff that can’t be made up.
  4. “Ignore”? How can you ignore something you never saw? I have not been served anything by anyone. There is not a person on this planet with even a smidgen of knowledge of the law who would say anything BUT “Hell no he shouldn’t testify” while there is a bogus and incredibly wasteful civil suit still hanging around. The day that crap disappears I’ll sit down on RI radio and answer every single question  asked, and take calls to allow anyone that wants an opportunity to speak to me about any of this. There are parts of this that are disappointing, humiliating, insulting, but on my behalf there is not one ounce of illegal in anything I ever did or said, ever. The tax paying citizen deserves the unfiltered and LIVE truth, and I sincerely hope that happens sooner rather than later. In the meantime people need to make sure everything is made public, every single page of every document.
  5. You don’t ‘successfully’ defend your daughter against pigs and trolls like that, you just do it. Nothing I can say or do will ever make that disappear as a memory in a time that should have been nothing but unbridled joy for my amazing daughter.
  6. This is the best though. Never, ever, in my life have I uttered a single sentence, word, phrase or quip, that is racist. You actually have to be racist to say racist things don’t you? The tweet that I was suspended for comparing Islamic “extremists” to members of the “Nazi Party”. Not one ounce of racism intended, written or implied. But people that wanted to make it a racist comment, like this article, omitted the single most important word, “Extremists”. Heck take any comment ever made, omit or add a word you want to, and I bet you could have a pretty nice collection of controversies that actually never happened. People screamed about my ‘freedom of speech” and a ton of other things 1st amendment. My 1st amendment rights are intact and have been. But when you work for someone else you have rules to abide by, and I failed to do that, and was suspended. I can certainly not like it, or disagree, but rules are rules and I did not follow them, and was punished. Agree or not that is how it is supposed to work in a capitalist society. The bosses get to make the rules.

 

Let’s see if we can’t make people unwilling, uncaring, or that just plain hate, understand a difference.

‘Moral Obligation Bond‘ A type of revenue bond issued by a municipality or similar government body. A moral obligation bond not only gives investors the tax exemption benefits inherent in a municipal bond, but also provides an additional moral pledge of commitment against default.

‘Loan’ = loan noun 1. a thing that is borrowed, especially a sum of money that is expected to be paid back with interest.

 

On no planet anywhere, are these two the same. It’s not a play on words, or a twisted meaning, they are not the same. Not yesterday, today, tomorrow or ever. Any loans I took or that I put my name on for collateral are loans I have, and continue, to work with the institutions to repay. I refused to file bankruptcy, I put my name there, I told them and gave them my word I would repay in case of default.

Massachusetts legislators get criticized a lot, but they should get some credit in this fiasco. Schilling would have swung his deal in this state, but Massachusetts officials were not moved to help finance the high-risk venture, causing him to peddle his plan to Rhode Island, instead.

I don’t know who started the lie, I think it was Governor Patrick, but let’s end this now. At no time, ever, in any meeting in any correspondence in any fashion, did I ever ask the state of Massachusetts for ANYTHING. Never. I met with the speaker who ranted about term limits and then when his were upcoming, voted to change the law. He came to the Studio in Maynard. He, nor anyone on that staff knew an MMO from a Unicorn before, or after the tour. It was clear in any discussions with anyone here about anything, that the only business they cared about was getting their casinos.

 

“Peddle”? Again, nope. Never peddled this ‘plan’ to anyone but VC’s and single investors here, around the country and across the oceans. A conversation arose during a chance meeting about 38 Studios and RI’s desire to stimulate the jobs market. That conversation snowballed into meetings that snowballed into legislation that became the bond.

Not sure where the “oh you’re a conservative small government guy taking a handout!!!” crowd originated but how does the 1st part of that statement mesh with the 2nd? What does small gov’t have to do with gov’t investing in entrepreneurs and/or business? You can have an opinion either way on both, and you should, and that’s fine, but please shut up with that statement. It’s just as stupid hearing as it has to be to say.

 

The fallout has had enormous implications in that state, but its cautionary tale extends beyond state borders. It is a lesson that big talk by famous people does not necessarily guarantee success, and it serves as a reminder that public aid for private ventures is best utilized when spread among many beneficiaries, except in unusual circumstances.

I am unsure right now, but I think these are the only two sentences other than my name, that are factual. There have been as there should be, enormous implications from this. “Big talk”? Not sure what that means. If it means the CEO talked about plans, budgets, projections and all the other stuff, ya. If it means I bragged and talked about things that were emphatically overblown or untrue? Then it’s 100% false.  I actually agree on the latter point but I have to say this. Anyone reading this (still) that had done what I did, and was where I was, would have done NOTHING different when approached by a state to partner on a 75m (actually 49m) investment. You may have created or wanted different terms, but no one walks away from what was supposed to be a 75m (but ended up 49m) investment in their start up, no one. If you say different you’re a liar.

 

The subpoena followed Schilling’s rejection of a request that he come voluntarily to speak with Rhode Island legislators. A man with an opinion on just about everything has been strangely silent on why his video game company collapsed so quickly and spectacularly,

 

I’ll say it again. It’s laughable to a point of embarrassment that people that would not do something that they then criticize someone in an article for NOT doing. How does that work on the ethics scale? No one, in any situation, given where and what is happening, voluntarily testifies while there is a 100% BS civil suit on the table, no one.

Once that sickening waste of time and money is gone, I’ll openly speak about everything to anyone that asks.

“A man with an opinion”. Ok this one bugs me more than it should and here’s why. It is absolutely no mystery that brevity is not on my list of skills. I talk, a lot. Always have. Very very passionate about the things I care about. Now that’s not good/bad/wrong/right, it’s just me. But here’s what I need to ask, to everyone from CHB to the rest. How on earth can you sit there and write that crap when it is YOU asking me the questions? Keyboard cowboys get to play both sides of the fence but never have the guts to take one. If an athlete doesn’t talk to you he’s an aloof, elitist ass. If he does talk to you and says “Yes” and “No” and “Just trying to help my team win” he’s a cliche spewing idiot. However when one does answer you with an answer that surpasses a drool and slobber, he’s a blowhard who never shuts up.

Why on earth would you think I am answering ANYTHING you ask me, to please you? Most of you never knew me, will never know me and don’t care to. Yet you label today’s athletes in categories, almost none of them nice or kind or remotely truthful, for answering the questions YOU ask in ways you don’t like or don’t agree with. The bitterness of a college graduate making 55k a year standing in front of a 23 year old Latin born Spanish speaking player making 22 million a year was ALWAYS palpable from the guys that resented the hell out of it. The worst part was watching that stuff fester into their writing.

 

Lastly. Check this out. A ‘group’ or a person, labeling themselves “The Republican Editorials” wrote this. A group the exact OPPOSITE of what they call themselves, wrote an article doing not one ounce of work, and just linking to other stories that did the same. The entire article contains like 4% truth, and a ton of lies, not mistakes, lies. A mistake is when you shake off your catcher in the 9th inning of a no-hitter, and then lose it. A lie is when you tell reporters after the game that the catcher called the pitch, two vastly different things.

But lacking the integrity to actually do any work, and the guts to put a name to the piece, they publish this. Is this where we are with our expectations as citizens of this country? I’m not. I’m not ok with people openly lying about me, or my friends, or my family.

You may not care. That’s goody for you. People scream “you’re just giving them attention”. You want this kind of attention? Being called out for the liar you are? Being called out because you do nothing more than ‘mail it in’ for your job? Being called out as a faceless coward who slings crap against a wall with little to no ability to actually write?

If that’s you then so be it. It’s not me.

Look I am not some pedestal posing bible thumping never sinned in my life christian. I am pretty much the exact opposite. I am and always have been a deeply flawed believer who knows every day is a battle to do the right thing in a world gone wrong. I don’t, hell no one does, succeed every day. Many days I need to play for the tie at best.

But if I ever am in a position where I am ok with making someone else look bad, even if it’s with lies, to make myself feel better? Well, I pray that day never comes.

I’ve done wrong, I’ve wronged people, but never meant to nor  have I set out to be malicious to anyone, anywhere, and I pray I never do.

If you’ve read this far I am unsure if you need a thank you or a shrink.

God Bless

Curt

 

19 Comments leave one →
  1. December 17, 2015 8:36 am

    I disagree with you on lots of things, but I respect your honesty and integrity.

  2. shutiggyupdotcom permalink
    December 17, 2015 10:44 am

    Curt, please move to a real state and run for President.

    >

  3. December 19, 2015 9:40 pm

    Maybe one must know the pain behind the words to understand them. So, thank you for having the courage and conviction to convey them… because that’s what it takes.

  4. December 27, 2015 1:00 am

    I never cared for your grandstanding in politics but I commend you on this post of heart felt words and humility, God Bless you and may you be vindicated completely.

  5. January 5, 2016 11:15 pm

    Thank you for not only standing up for your daughter, but for all women who consider themselves ladies. The attitude and vulgarity these young “BOYS” exhibit is certainly going to make their family and friends real proud . the entire situation makes me sick at my stomach. Gabby, be proud that your father has his priorities right and at all costs has you for most in mind when he “outs” these BOYS. Mary anne. From texas

  6. March 8, 2016 4:06 pm

    I’ll admit it upfront – I’m a homer. Not for the ‘Birds’, ‘Stro’s, Phils, D’backs and especially not the BoSox – but for Schilling. Further, I am politically on the same page as CS and proud of it. CS is one tough SOB who survived 20 years in the bigs, major health problems and unrelenting attacks by smarmy bastards in their ‘jammy’s’ in moms basement. CS – despite what the secular, ignorant and lazy press and politicians (and any idiot with a keyboard) say – YOU WIN. Your faith in God, your love of family, your long and public history of hard work and competence and your outstanding mind situate in in a small but extraordinary group of humans who actually “put their money where their mouth is” and who deserve our admiration and respect. I am terribly sorry that lying fecal lumps now dominate the news cycles and ‘bully pulpits’ of this sad and debilitated culture, e.g., Hillary ROTTEN Clinton, Donald T-Rump, the KrudeDashians, etc. and through their misdirection vilify honorable people like you. But, as they say, it is what it is. You have my prayers and support because you have demonstrated through your actions that you deserve it. Thank you.

  7. March 27, 2016 5:15 pm

    THANKS for saying what the spineless think but won’t enter the public arena to speak to truth. I will be less likely to watch SNB to listen to a softball missy and will make it a priority to watch MNB to hear your insightful nuanced perspective on the real game. Again, thanks and may the Risen Lord bless you and your family.

  8. April 20, 2016 10:10 pm

    Your really could have shortened this to “I’m a narrow-minded bigoted a-hole” and be done with it…. and here’s the thing. Transgender people aren’t looking for your approval. They’re looking for you to keep your nose out of something that has nothing to do with you. It is sad that there’s so many like you who think they have nothing to learn. Because you equate gender identity with something overtly sexual… Like they’re gonna have a peep at the vajayjay in the ladies room. No. That’s how YOU would think in the situation because you are a man-child. Stick to what you know…..

  9. April 21, 2016 12:26 am

    Free speech isn’t free,now rights to opinion belong to the government! WTF , our government is bending us over! WAKE UP PEOPLE! THE GOVERNMENT AND MEDIA ARE ONE

  10. April 21, 2016 4:45 am

    I don’t know much about you, But thank you for this article. I don’t trust people too often, You sound more honest then most. Your family should be proud. Oh by the way I am a baseball fan, Baltimore Orioles. Good luck, and shame on ESPN they sound cowardly.

  11. April 21, 2016 7:12 am

    Well said Mr Schilling… “Look I am not some pedestal posing bible thumping never sinned in my life christian. I am pretty much the exact opposite. I am and always have been a deeply flawed believer who knows every day is a battle to do the right thing in a world gone wrong. I don’t, hell no one does, succeed every day. Many days I need to play for the tie at best.”

    I am in the same boat! Ties are good days and I work for a church – have for 24 years now.

    Hang in there and keep on keeping on the best you can for our Lord!

  12. April 21, 2016 8:48 am

    I really enjoyed reading this and have the utmost respect for your honesty and humility as well as your writing skills. You remind me so much of myself in so many ways!

  13. April 21, 2016 10:23 am

    Praying with you, and for you. Keep on keepin’ on.

  14. April 21, 2016 10:28 am

    A hundred percent behind you. Incidentally, can you please come back to Philly? We need you. whatever you got left in the tank is better than what we got on the mound. Take the pill, brother! Incidentally, I don’t give a rat’s a$# what anyone else thinks; you belong in the Hall!

  15. April 21, 2016 10:38 am

    A hundred percent behind you. Incidentally, I know you had great success with the D-Backs and the Sox, but I was a kid in ’93 and a fan of “Macho Row”, so can you please come back to Philly haha? We–and Mike Missanelli– need you. Whatever you got left in the tank is better than what we got on the mound. Take the pill, brother! Incidentally, I don’t give a rat’s a$# what anyone else thinks; you belong in the Hall!

  16. April 21, 2016 12:00 pm

    Who cares what a dumb jock says anyway? Just like his support for that idiot Bush who started a war in Iraq, a war costing thousands of American troops lives, and widows and orphans behind. Let Bush pay for the wounded warriors and stop begging for the publics money.

    • April 28, 2016 4:12 pm

      I Wesley, I care more about what Curt thinks than your PC BS. He is a thinking common sense person.

  17. April 21, 2016 2:06 pm

    Curt, there’s so much going on here. Parts of this reminds me of my dad in his later years, with apologies for getting all personal on you. He was embroiled in turmoil and conflict and disputes until the day he passed away. As his son, I weep for what I now wish those years could have been instead, of sitting around with him on a peaceful porch somewhere.

    Ever thought about buying a ranch and just saying “to hell with it” to all this stuff? Settle your claims, wash your hands of them, and go sit on a porch reading books and inviting friends over to go fishing, or whatever.

    I don’t agree with your politics by the way. Liberal Dem here. But I see the human being in you. I wish you peace.

  18. April 25, 2016 2:53 pm

    Your amazing. Wish you were running for president.

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