The world we live in…Man has it changed. ADDENDUM!
I thank God every day that Facebook and Twitter, instagram, vine, Youtube, all of it, did not exist when I went to High School. I can’t imagine the dumb stuff I’d have been caught saying and doing.
If you are a dad this is something you well know already, if you are a dad with a daughter this is likely to get your blood going. If you are a boy, or young man, or husband, and you haven’t experienced children yet, or haven’t had a daughter, it’s next to impossible for you to understand.
My daughter, my one and only daughter, has worked her ass off playing sports the past 9-10 years. She’s loved it, and I’ve loved being able to both watch, and coach along the way.
Last week we were told she’d been accepted to college and will begin playing softball there next year.
Clearly an incredibly proud day.
And of course, like any dad in the modern world I said so.
Now I’ve been using computers since 1981. I was a professional baseball player for 22 years. I played 10+ years in Philadelphia. I played 5 in Boston. I shared a locker room with well over a thousand teammates and I played and lived at school a year before doing so.
That’s all to say I am absolutely aware of social media and how it works. As someone who’s said about 2.34 billion things he shouldn’t have, I get it.
With that tweet I expected a response. Some congrats for sure, but absolutely the smart ass college kid and likely many of them from RS to reply. And I was not disappointed.
After receiving the expected “I’ll take care of her” and “Can’t wait to date her!” and the “Looking forward to partying with her” I, like many dads, sent this one…
A little fun for sure (though I do and am proud of it btw!!).
If you’re a dad you know exactly what I meant by that tweet. I was also going to mention that there is little in life I’d ever go to jail for, but my daughter is one. Another nod to that father/daughter bond….
In between a fight with Kevin Millar, congratulating Juan Pierre on a wonderful career (just hated facing him) and praying Josh Hamilton gets right, I started to see this sort of tweet.
And tweets with the word rape, bloody underwear and pretty much every other vulgar and defiling word you could likely fathom began to follow.
Now let me emphasize again. I was a jock my whole life. I played sports my whole life. Baseball since I was 5 until I retired at 41. I know clubhouses. I lived in a dorm. I get it. Guys will be guys. Guys will say dumb crap, often. But I can’t ever remember, drunk, in a clubhouse, with best friends, with anyone, ever speaking like this to someone…
“The Sports Guru”? Ya he’s a DJ named Adam Nagel (DJ is a bit strong since he’s on the air for 1 hour a week) on Brookdale Student Radio at Brookdale Community College. How do you think that place feels about this stud representing their school? You don’t think this isn’t going to be a nice compilation that will show up every single time this idiot is googled the rest of his life? What happens when a potential woman he’s after googles and reads this?
The other clown? He’s VP of the Theta Xi fraternity at Montclair State University. I gotta believe if Theta Xi is cool with a VP of one of their chapters acting like this I’d prefer to have no one I know in it. Also, does anyone attending Montclair State University have a student handbook? If so can you pass it along because I am pretty sure there are about 90 violations in this idiots tweets.
I stopped because the rest was more of the same. And while these, to me as a dad, are just stupid and vile in ways you can’t fathom, they aren’t alone.
There have been personal tweets, texts and emails to more than one party in all this.
Now understand this.
I’m a Republican
I’m a former Red Sox
I have a nasty habit of talking, a lot, about anything anyone asks me and totally unconcerned about giving you my opinion. You will never question where I stand, right or wrong agree or disagree on anything.
I am completely unafraid to get into a ragging war with anyone. Win or lose I’ll give as good as I get:)
I have zero issues being made fun of. It’s part of living and playing sports your whole life and when you’re built like I am you need to develop a defensive strategy early in life.
So I look at it like this. Democrats, Yankee fans, people that don’t like the sound of my voice, that’s a pretty big group.
Those folks for the most part don’t like me even a little bit.
Democrats for their own reasons, Yankee fans for theirs and the rest of them hate me for who I am or what I say, and that’s not going to change.
The amount of vitriol I’ve heard is not an issue. I am sure I’ll hear more.
But I have to ask, is this even remotely ok? In ANY world? At ANY time?
Worse yet? No less than 7 of the clowns who sent vile or worse tweets are athletes playing college sports.
I knew every name and school, sport and position, of every one of them in less than an hour. The ones that didn’t play sports were just as easy to locate.
I’ve kept every tweet like the ones above.
Now again, I was 17, 18, all of those years when stupid was the operative word. But from the day I was born thru today the only time I may have ever uttered ANYTHING remotely close to this was on the field in the middle of a bench clearing brawl.
My daughter comes to me beyond upset. She didn’t do anything, she never said anything, yet she’s now receiving personal messages with guys saying things to her, well let’s just say I can’t repeat and I’m getting beyond angry thinking about it. Her boyfriend, a wicked good hockey player who has a fighting streak I absolutely love is going out of his mind to be let off his leash but unlike the athletes tweeting this stuff he understands the potential consequences of his actions and knows the time and place will hopefully come when he can make it right on his own terms.
These boys have yet to understand one of life’s most important lessons. In the real world you get held accountable for the things you say and if you are not careful that can mean some different things.
How on earth do you guys know who’s on the other end? What they’re thinking?
This is a generation of kids who have grown up behind the monitor and keyboard. The real world has consequences when you do and say things about others. We’re at a point now where you better be sure who you’re going after.
If I was a deranged protective dad I could have been face to face with any of these people in less than 4 hours. I know every one of their names, their parents, where they go to school, what they do, what team they are on, their positions, stats, all of it. I had to do almost nothing to get ANY of that information because it is all public.
What part of talking about a young woman, my daughter or not, makes you even consider the possibility that this is either funny or makes you tough?
I found it rather funny at how quickly tone changed when I heard via email from a few athletes who’d been suspended by their coaches. Gone was the tough guy tweeter, replaced by the “I’m so sorry apology used by those only sorry because they got caught.
It was EXACTLY like the Scared Straight episodes you watch where “tough” kids get brought to tears when they face the real world.
What these kids are failing to realize, what this generation fails to realize is this; Everything they’ve just said and done? That is out there now, forever. It can, and in some cases will, follow them for the rest of their lives.
We as a society have managed to get it to this point, and it’s absolutely because these idiots, at an age far past when they should know better, and have been taught better, are neither.
You want to know the scariest part? Some of their idiot friends, as I am sure some of you, are contacting me with “Dude lighten up, they’re just joking” and “Why are you saying things that might ruin someone’s life”?
You pieces of garbage out there who are even starting to think “what’s the big deal?” or “I was just joking around” can stick it.
I want to date your daughter, I want to take your daughter to prom, I want to hit on your daughter etc., those? Those are guys being dopes and saying what guys say. This stuff? This is so far off the radar it’s pathetic.
The ignorance and pathetic lack of morals or of any integrity is astounding.
These aren’t thugs, tough guys or bad asses, these aren’t kids who’ve had it rough, they aren’t homeless or orphans, these are pretty much ALL white, affluent, college attending children, and I mean children.
A mistake is tweeting once and saying “damn, I’m an idiot” and taking it down. These guys? They’re making conscious choices to cyberbully an amazing and beautiful young woman on the internet, that none of them know by the way, because they don’t like her dad or they somehow think saying words you can teach a 5 year old is tough? Cool? Bad ass? Something I am missing? My right hand to God I promise all of you that tweeted this stuff, the friends around you saying “dude that’s hilarious” and “OMG that’s awesome”? Those people? Inside they’re actually thinking “what an ass#$!Q” and “holy crap what a piece of trash”, no matter what they say to your face.
Ladies? If any of these guys is your boyfriend you’re in for a real rude awakening.
Lastly? Not one of these gutless clowns would even think of saying a word of ANY of this in person.
P.S. Gabby I know you’re likely embarrassed and for that I apologize. But as we have talked about, there is no situation ever in your life, where it’s ok for any ‘man’ to talk about you, or any other woman this way (and truth be told no real man would ever talk this way anyway). It truly is time this stopped. I don’t know where it started because it sure as hell didn’t happen much when we were growing up. Like any dad reading this the only thing I need you to leave this home with when you head to college is the knowledge that I love you more than life itself and there is NOTHING I would not do to protect you. And while it may sound corny, it’s nothing I’d ever be shy about saying in public, ever.
I wanted to let you internet sleuths have a go. Here are two guys that, as you can see, thought they were somehow funny and tough at the same time.
These guys went to town. If you guys reading this that know how to find people on the ‘net want to have at it, please do.