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Can’t help but love this.

December 19, 2010

Father & Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college.  Like so many

others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other

liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more

government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.


She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative,

a feeling she openly expressed.  Based on the lectures that she had

participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that

her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he

thought should be his.


One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes

on the rich and the need for more government programs.


The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the

truth and she indicated so to her father.  He responded by asking how she

was doing in school.


Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let

him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a

very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no

time to go out and party like other people she knew.  She didn’t even have

time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends because

she spent all her time studying.


Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”

She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by.  All she takes are easy

classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA.  She is so popular

on campus; college for her is a blast.  She’s always invited to all the

parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because

she’s too hung over.”


Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s office

and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only

has a 2.0.  That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would

be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”


The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily fired

back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair!  I’ve worked really

hard for my grades!  I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!

Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree.  She played while I

worked my tail off!”


The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the conservative side of the fence.”


If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!


If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.


If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for



If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.


If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.


If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)


If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.


If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended.”

33 Comments leave one →
  1. syphax permalink
    December 19, 2010 11:59 pm

    The fact that you have a pretty big megaphone, and use it to promote items like this middle school drivel, are a source of continual disappointment to me.

    Are you really so arrogant that you believe that all conservatives are always right, always self-reliant, and always live consistently with their ideals, while all liberals are lazy do-nothings that just want to control other people? My experience tells me the world’s a bit more complicated than that.

    I suggest you try to move beyond a message of “My side’s so awesome; the other side sucks so bad!” That’s fine for Red Sox-Yankees trash talk, but it makes for less compelling political discourse.

    I leave you with a couple quotes:

    “The rich are always going to say that, you know, just give us more money and we’ll go out and spend more and then it will all trickle down to the rest of you. But that has not worked the last 10 years, and I hope the American public is catching on.” — Warren Buffett (net worth: $45B)

    “I am conscious that an equal division of property is impracticable, but the consequences of this enormous inequality producing so much misery to the bulk of mankind, legislators cannot invent too many devices for subdividing property, only taking care to let their subdivisions go hand in hand with the natural affections of the human mind… Another means of silently lessening the inequality of property is to exempt all from taxation below a certain point, and to tax the higher portions or property in geometrical progression as they rise.” — Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Madison, October 28, 1785

    • soxfaninatl permalink
      December 29, 2010 1:48 pm

      How about a compromise. Either create one tax rate say 15% and apply it to all income levels above the poverty level or do away with income tax and go to a national sales tax that way those that spend more pay more taxes which would make both liberals and conservatives happy. Liberals would see the rich taxed at a higher level, and conservatives could choose to pay less tax. Bottom line is taxes are a necessary evil. We will always have taxes and those that make more will always pay more in taxes. For the record I am a moderate. I believe that you should be allowed to make money in this country, however I also feel it is the duty of the well off to help take care of their fellow man.

    • justautilityinfielder permalink
      January 9, 2011 2:32 am

      Why doesn’t Warren Buffett put his money where his mouth is and donate a few billion to the federal government? He’s a hypocrite.

  2. bcguitar33 permalink
    December 20, 2010 12:55 pm

    If a liberal objects to abortion, she doesn’t get one.
    If a conservative objects to abortion, he wants all abortions outlawed.

    If a liberal is straight, he marries a person of the opposite gender.
    If a conservative is straight, he wants to force everyone to marry someone from the opposite gender.

  3. barecove1633 permalink
    December 20, 2010 9:42 pm

    If a liberal is a Christian, he keeps it to himself.
    If a conservative is a Christian, he wants to convert “non-believers” to think just like him.

  4. jazzbnd permalink
    December 21, 2010 1:16 pm

    Did the father happen to mention that a big part of the reason she was doing so well was that his wealth allowed her first class primary education? Perhaps Audrey didn’t have those benefits. How is that equitable? A level playing field is fair to all then students can sink or swim by themselves once they actually have to jump in the water

    • December 21, 2010 6:07 pm

      Where in there does it say that she is wealthy? Where is that mentioned? Assumed? What about her ‘friend’? Is she poor because she’s not doing well in the same school? Oh wait, that’s the only possible way to go to college and be an overachiever, is with a lot of money right? This is the REAL world, once you leave your home the ‘level playing field’ and ‘fair’ go out the window, this isn’t a world full of people looking to help make your life better, though it’d be nice if it were.

      • jazzbnd permalink
        December 22, 2010 2:51 pm

        “One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes

        on the rich and the need for more government programs.”

        Find me a poor (or even lower middle class) person who thinks the wealthy shouldn’t pay more than they do or that there should be fewer government programs. If you had eliminated “on the rich” I’d buy your argument, but it’s there for all to see.
        Point taken about “poor” Audrey – however as a college teacher myself at a fairly wealthy private school I can tell you that kids coming from an inner city background having little or no college prep have a much steeper hill to climb than kids from wealthy suburbs who are groomed for college from kindergarten. There’s nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but the trend has obviously been making it harder and harder (and ultimately impossible) for kids from less endowed school districts even to get in to competitive schools, never mind dealing with the expectations if they do.
        The fact that Young Woman (couldn’t you have given her a name?) has taken on such a heavy load and is clearly serious in her purpose suggests to me that she might be the product of a high-pressured primary school situation that has focused her attentions on college. The fact the she is highly successful further points to the fact that she had good college prep training – certainly a good thing, but a tremendous advantage over the majority of young adults in this country today.

    • December 30, 2010 5:03 am

      “Find me a poor (or even lower middle class) person who thinks the wealthy shouldn’t pay more than they do or that there should be fewer government programs”

      I come from a family that spans from upper middle to lower class and most if not all of us think the wealthy shouldn’t pay more than they do and that there should be fewer government programs.

      I don’t see how you can say “Find me a poor or middle class person who…” like thats some kind of rarity. just look at the millions of Tea-party members, conservatives and libertarians who support those things. Are you going to tell me they are all rich?

      For college teacher you sure are a moron.

      To Curt Schilling,

      I’m really looking forward to your game “Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning” and I’m especially looking forward to your MMORPG “Copernicus”. could you maybe just for a fan throw me a bone and release a little bit more info on Copernicus.

    • January 2, 2011 5:55 pm

      It appears you didn’t read the story very closely. The Young Woman studied hard and worked for her grades, sacrificing her personal life. Her friend Audrey, on the other hand, chose the opposite path. It had nothing to do with their financial or family situations.

  5. jayno12 permalink
    December 22, 2010 2:00 pm

    Hey Curt what do us Moderates do? I guess enjoy the read, acknowledge that you have a point on some issues. Then go back to work. Like your Blog, thanks.

    • curtcantpitch permalink
      January 2, 2011 2:28 pm

      Once again Curt, you speak with a bloviating tone, yea, we get it, your rich and don’t want to pay your fair share, so, with the ” big megaphone” as syphax spoke of, you spew your self-righteous attitude on the web, you sound like Andrew Wilkow, when he says, “we’re right, their wrong, end of story” people like you have lost touch with mainstream America, tell your worthless dribble to the autoworker who lost his job, or tell it to the carpenter who cant work because nobody is building homes, tell it to the millions of American family’s who have, or will lose there homes, do you think they want to hear your bull, I don’t think so, this country has been run down by corrupt politicians, it makes no difference, republican or democratic, they are all bought and paid for by lobbyists, who are paid by the wealthy, you should be ashamed of the money you stole from the fans of the Red Sox, signing a contract and not even pitching? You sit there on your high horse and proclaim, paying your share is a “redistribution of wealth?” get over yourself, you had a few good years of success and luck, lets keep it in prospective, your no Nolan Ryan, hell, your not even a John Rocker, well maybe in voice, first time HOF ballot? LOL,LOL,LOL, methinks, NOT!
      Why not try and do something with your life, other than video games and political Punditry.

  6. murphymp permalink
    December 23, 2010 2:32 pm

    If kids in inner city schools are not getting the same education as kids in “rich” suburban schools who is to blame? After all aren’t all the schools state funded? What is the state doing with the allocated tax dollars for schools? After collecting my taxes it becomes the states responsibility to distribute that wealth in a fair and equitable manner. It seems perhaps they are not or is there a different and more serious underlying problems such as the parents……?? Hmmmmm. Taking more of my money is not the answer. Children in many nations are being educated at a higher level than here in the US. Why won’t we incorporate/model ourselves after these succesful models? Is the teacher’s union in the way?

    Great initial post. Inspires critical thinking.

  7. pbamba permalink
    December 25, 2010 9:06 am

    if a liberal doesn’t want an abortion, they don’t get one. if a conservative doesn’t want an abortion, they demand it be outlawed for everyone. hey! you’re right, this game is a lot of fun.

    or better yet, you could stick to blogging about baseball.

    anyway, thanks for 04

  8. pbcjr permalink
    December 27, 2010 5:03 pm

    Hey Schill-

    I am a young professional, working in sales- just working my butt off. I work in Chicago and frequently find myself talking to Cubs fans who feel like they aren’t ever going to see the other side of the hill. I say that Curt Schilling MADE the difference in Boston- that your attitude literally willed us to our first World Series Championship in 86 years. I reference your “Why not us?” t-shirt all the time as a prime example of that attitude.

    First off – have you ever thought of becoming a “motivational speaker” – or some type of corporate consultant? People seriously underestimate the impact of positive thinking and corporate america is always looking for some dynamic someone to carry that message to the masses – two….where can I find some of those t-shirts?? I am thinking of doing a whole campaign this spring and possibly this fall not only tied to baseball season but why wouldn’t these prospects of mine use our/my product vs someone else??

    If you know where I can get them that would be awesome. If you think my first idea has some merit – well, give me a ring!

    Thanks so much and have a great day!

  9. pbcjr permalink
    December 27, 2010 5:04 pm

    Sorry- forgot to hit the notify me button.

  10. cogtc777 permalink
    December 29, 2010 11:10 am

    I think its important to remember that as conservative Christians we aren’t to covet others goods nor take them (steal,redistribute). I am a school teacher who makes $45,000 a year and have been in a pay freeze for 2+ years. I don’t covet what others make but find my joy in Jesus and loving and caring for others. I choose to stay home at night and spend time with my family and go to church on Sundays and spend time with others who are like minded. I choose to live a simple life and pray that those who make exhorbitant amounts would hold there money a little less loose, but it is not my job to demand how much anyone gives back to society. Those who want to redistribute will never find satisfaction until they have all the power and then as the saying goes “he with the most toys still dies” they will find out that it was not the way it was intended. Work hard, love God and neighbor and let’s get back to caring for each other rather than unhealthy powers ruling the world.

  11. ndg114 permalink
    December 29, 2010 11:59 am

    Funny, I live in the most liberal district in the country and I’ve never met any liberal that wants all meat outlawed, wants to shut down every talk show host he doesn’t like, or that hates Christianity but loves all foreign religions.

    I have, however, met plenty of Republicans who want to tell others who they can marry or whether or not they can have an abortion.

    All of your examples of what liberals try to do are disgusting exaggerations, and you get some very basic points completely wrong. The “If a liberal doesn’t like guns” point is wrong. Liberals don’t have a problem with people owning guns, they have a problem with what they do with them.

    And as for “a liberal wonders who will take care of them,” that is ridiculous. Liberals fight for the lower classes, who have NO WAY to improve their situation. You paint a ridiculous picture that liberals are all elitists fighting for themselves, but this couldn’t be less true – we’re fighting for those who can’t fight for themselves. Get the ideologies straight before you post hateful things like this.

  12. curtcantpitch permalink
    January 2, 2011 3:49 pm

    ” once you leave your home the ‘level playing field’ and ‘fair’ go out the window,”

    Oh, and daddy’s money don’t hurt either!!!!!

    You are such a blow hard.

  13. curtcantpitch permalink
    January 2, 2011 8:22 pm

    ” this isn’t a world full of people looking to help make your life better, though it’d be nice if it were ”

    Why don’t you put your money where your pie-hole is, and help make life better for some folks, giving money to research, ALS only affects a hand full of people, if you want to help, empower people to do the right thing, video games don’t cut the mustard, they only provide a meaningless waste of time, with childhood obesity on the rise it’s time for the so called “role models” to step up to the plate and MAN UP!
    Most people are tired of hearing the same old story from you, military family, republican, staunch conservative, bla, bla, bla, the wars we have fought in Iraq and Afghanistan have been meaningless, tell me one positive thing the USA has benefited from them? cheap oil? no, freedom? no, tell me ONE THING!!! when I hear people talk about all the brave solders who gave up their lives so we can be free, it makes me sick, sure, a few decades ago this might be true, but today, its a joke, people like you use war as an excuse for fear mongering, you, Glen Beck and Shaun Hannity are one in the same, you are selling a product to helpless individuals who haven’t a clue, just like catholicism, and any religion, just as Jesse Ventura said, “Religion is a crutch for weak people” if you are are weak, you will succumb to ridiculous temptation.

  14. January 7, 2011 9:33 am


    In tracking down Joe Flanigan (actor : Stargate Atlantis) to ask him to read some material, I came upon a site he supports. she has ALS and he’s hoping to help her out. They’re having a benefit in NYC this month. A poor writer from Boston can’t afford to go….but maybe your attendance would make a big splash in their lives. Please check out the site and consider. If you can help…let me know.

    Thanks for your time…and for all the joy you’ve brought this town.

    Hank J Peña
    Cobblestone Creative
    13 Duncan Rd.
    Everett, MA  02149

  15. elliottf05 permalink
    January 7, 2011 11:20 am

    Dear Curt,

    I’m a political scientist and a big fan of yours.

    I know you feel strongly about your political views and I respect that. I have no interest in changing your mind. I only hope to express what liberalism means to myself and many others, as I don’t feel as though your representation speaks for us.

    Liberals, by and large, do not seek to take all that has been hard-earned by motivated, diligent, and successful citizens. Liberals accept that some will prosper and others will not. The question is not whether the daughter should give up 1.0 of her GPA to match Audrey with a 3.0. Rather, it’s do we as a collective society see a value in ensuring that Audrey has enough to survive in a dignified way, despite her faults?

    In terms of taxation, liberals are not asking the wealthy to rid of their riches so that the lazy and incompetent can enjoy an equal standard of life. Rather, they ask the wealthy to commit some of their money so that the unsuccessful can sustain themselves at a basic level. The difference between a 35% and 39.6% income tax rate for those earning over $250,000/year will not radically alter a person’s lifestyle. The rich still get to be rich…. and that’s fine.

    On the flip side, the difference of a small amount of subsidized revenue for a poor person, or one without health insurance, is considerable. Over 45,000 Americans die each year because of insufficient healthcare. I don’t think it’s so terrible to ask millionaires to contribute a bit more of the money they’ll likely never use to help ensure that people can live, feed themselves, and take care of their families. This is the Christian thing to do. Charities can play a role here, but only government can generate the reliable revenue stream necessary to cover the needy. To me, this isn’t socialism. Not everyone will be equal, or even close. But in the wealthiest nation on Earth, we can ensure that we all meet a basic standard.

    The school analogy does not apply, because in the real world we are talking about life and death… not whether someone needs to leave school. I’m happy to let Audrey take her 2.0 and fail out of school, but if I can pay a bit more money (that I have an ample amount of) to ensure that Audrey can get the medical care she needs and a roof over her head, I have no problem doing that. I understand that there are reasonable, intelligent arguments to refute this perspective, and that’s fine. But I think it’s a defensible point of view.

    Finally, one can surely wonder whether the connection between hard work and earnings is jiving as well as it once did. There are an awful lot of CEOs living pretty on buyouts despite deplorable performances with their companies. In many facets of life, it seems as though success and hard work aren’t rewarded the way that capitalism argues they should be. I hope we can move towards a better system that allows the diligent to succeed, the weak to survive, and all of us to listen and consider alternate points of view rather than ridicule and mischaracterize the opposition.

    I can’t wait to come to Cooperstown when they call your name in a few years.


  16. January 8, 2011 1:07 pm

    There’s an additional aspect, wisdom:
    If you’re your young and not somewhat liberal, you don’t have a heart.
    If you’re older and not more conservative, you don’t have a brain.

    Aother matter:
    it’s too bad that the MA Democrats have run Curt’s business out of the state. What a shame.
    A shame too that they do the same to other businesses all the time, but people don’t hear as much about it because the business is not owned by someone as well known.

    And the next time you might be bitching about your employer, think about what your perspective might be if you were actually the one with your butt on the line…as in, making the payroll!

  17. ndg114 permalink
    January 9, 2011 6:29 pm

    A liberal millionaire uses his good fortune to help others and be a good citizen.

    A conservative millionaire wants tax cuts, because having millions of dollars isn’t enough.

  18. January 23, 2011 10:08 am


    The best quote I ever heard about you was that you are a horse every 5th day and and a horses ass the other 4. Your post is pure drivel. Have you ever heard of anyone trying to ban meat? And as far as conservatives changing channels of shows they don’t like, it’s the conservatives who constantly try to get people like Howard Stern off the air. As far as religon goes, a liberal doesn’t believe that it’s the governments place to choose one over the other. However the ACLU fights constantly for all people to be able to pray in the manner they choose. I could go on and on, but quite frankly you aren’t worth the effort. Being a conservative is one thing, being an uneducated dolt who parrots these stupid stereotypes is another thing all together. Thanks again for 2004 though.

  19. January 25, 2011 7:50 pm

    Mr. Schilling we all owe you a drink for 04 and 07, your answer to Nomar’s superstitions was your faith…which is the answer the team needed…to believe. The conservative flaw is that out of the gate growing up parents that support you can die. If conservatives take away Pell Grants and Social Security there would have been no college to start with–conservatives just close the door on people and assign them to the ash heap. No college, no job, no home. Joining the military is not an option for everyone, but if you want just bring back the draft and watch how fast our wars would be over.

    Again..thank you for standing tall for our Red Sox and welcome to the Hall of Fame!

  20. niemker permalink
    January 26, 2011 10:30 pm

    OK, I never got on these things but this time I had to.

    1) the abortion example is nonsense, mainly, bacause it is perfectly fine to label things for what they are, for example; abortion is just wicked. THIS is why republicans want it to be illegal; simple as that.
    2) Fact: conservatives give more than liberals. It has been a big lie for years that liberals give more than conservatives. When a recent study was done, BY A LIBERAL, he was stunned to find this out, of course the study was completely ignored by the media.
    3) IF liberals feel so strongly about the rich paying more taxes, ie. Warren Buffet, why don’t they PROVE IT by simply paying more in taxes; this can be done you know, and it doesn’t require a tax hike.
    4) The gross dishonesty, or perhaps ignorance, on this board about gun ownership from the left is simply typical. If the great liberal/socialist leader of the Democratic party ( Pres. Obama) could, he would repeal the right to bear arms if he could pull it off. He is certainly not alone in his hatred of gun ownership.

  21. brendinater permalink
    February 1, 2011 6:46 pm

    They forgot the one that says:

    If a liberal thinks an entire nation of people can be boxed into one of two categories, and those categories give them pre-determined views on gun control, economics, or any other range of subjects, that liberal is an idiot.

    If a conserative thinks an entire nation of people can be boxed into one of two categories, and those categories give them pre-determined views on gun control, economics, or any other range of subjects, that conervative is an idiot.

  22. bocephus13 permalink
    February 12, 2011 9:38 pm

    Liberalism doesn’t hold itself to the same rules and standards it attempts to force upon anyone who opposes it. Its greatest and most obvious transgression is pointing out the intolerance of others when it tolerates nothing but itself. And anything and everything which opposes, refutes, disproves or exposes it is labeled “intolerant!”

  23. sbm13 permalink
    February 13, 2011 7:19 am

    I could say many things here but I’ll leave it at this: ‘Labeling’ does nothing but drive a wedge between neighbors, friends, coworkers and a nation. We are all Americans and our opinions may differ but when we actually have meaningful dialogue and don’t talk over one another with talking point, actually listen with hearts and heads we are closer than we think.

  24. rhinoredsox permalink
    February 18, 2011 9:49 am

    Right about everything he said. Prime example: Gun Control. Also Curt, do you personally know Ted Nugent? I feel like you two would be great friends…

  25. ffuzzylogik permalink
    May 6, 2011 12:55 am

    is this stormfront? oh wait it was just found there


  1. Restrictive political labels and the complex human « Dischordant Forms

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