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Shonda’s book is out today!

March 23, 2010

If you click on this link you can purchase the book straight from the publisher! So proud that she shared her story and we’re hopeful parents of children with special needs know they are not alone in the world.

40 Comments leave one →
  1. syphax permalink
    March 23, 2010 1:36 pm

    This looks fascinating. I enjoyed reading the intro online- Curt, you are very good at being candid.

    As the parent of four myself, I can’t imagine how difficult this must have been before diagnosis.

    I hope this book is a good resource for parents struggling with raising kids with Asperger’s. I also hope that more kids will receive the treatment they require under the new health care insurance reform legislation (sorry, had to go there).

    Despite your misguided politics, Curt, it’s clear that you are a great father and good person.

    Just repeat after me 3 times:

    Ann Coulter is an entertainer, not a serious thinker.

    • schillinglove permalink
      March 31, 2010 4:13 pm

      Hey syphax, save the politics for HuffPo or whatever other swamp you frequent. This isn’t the place for it.

  2. deskcon permalink
    March 23, 2010 2:44 pm

    Congratulations to the Schilling family on the book. I read the forward and as always enjoyed your writing and candor. Although, I sometimes disagree with your perspective, I like hearing what you have to say.

    I applaud you and your wife, using your name to make Autism a mainstream issue. The trending statistics on this disease are unsettling. People need to turn their heads and take a look. I have no doubt Shonda’s words will be comforting and inspiring to many. I can only speculate on the content of the book, but the introduction really illustrated your strength as individuals and as a couple. Regardless of the political differences we may have, this is a characteristic we can all emulate. Thanks for being a good example.

    Good luck.

  3. March 24, 2010 8:06 am

    I just saw the story on the Today show and feel like my words were coming out of Shonda’s mouth!

    My son, Jack, is 11. He received his diagnosis of Aspergers, dyslexia, dysgraphia and anxiety disorder when he was 10 years old.

    He sounds so much like your son, Grant, in the way Aspergers affects him. Also, my husband is a Naval Officer and has been deployed or traveling for a lot of Jack’s young life and it has been difficult for him to understand Jack’s issues.

    I hope Shonda is coming to the DC area on her book tour. I’d love to meet and chat with her.

  4. shawnplyden permalink
    March 24, 2010 8:19 am

    I saw you on the today show this AM. We have the redsox and an asperger’s child in common. I was lucky in that we found out when he was 3, due to his intelligence and his social ackwardness with his friends. I struggled in that I wanted to fix this and give him the chance to be normal. I was determined to raise him the way I was raised and teach him how to overcome his quirks. What I learned 5 years later is that this was the worst approach and my relationship with him was very strained; he was afraid of me. I gave up and something wonderful happened; we connected. I started listening and learned to see things the way he see’s them. I relaxed and so did he. I gave him advice on a situation and over time he mastered the situation. Two things became apparent to me, 1. He can learn and wants to learn, but finding the approach is the trick 2. I learned that his view is not wrong (what he tought me), just his way.
    The pain I created for both of us could have been a lot less if I had the proper approach that comes natural for a severly autistic kid (which my good friend has). This is the curve ball of asperger’s and hoping your book can help those you relate to see that. I look forward to reading it and if I could suggest a great book: Look me in the Eyes: My life with Asperger’s by John Elder Robinson.

  5. 1coppertone permalink
    March 24, 2010 9:01 am

    looking forward to reading. i have a 20 year old son whom has asperberg’s and i can tell you for me this has been one of the hardest year we have had. he has a hard time keeping a job and after trying to get disablilty for him and getting it for 2 months then turned down,cause he shows a history of being able to work,it’s been hard with every jobhe can’t seem to keep i wonder what will happen to his life when we aren’t here to help him. he wasn’t diagnosised till he was 15,even though i was screaming it when he was 4 after alot of reasearch. then it was 1 ion 1400 now it’s about one 440. i ask what is going to happen with these children that grow into young men and women??

    • endersdragon permalink
      April 3, 2010 3:18 am

      As a 24 year old aspie I can tell you that education has been the key for me. If he has something that interests him get him even more educated in that and in how to get a job working with that. I once worked with this 15 year old boy that only had a 75 or so IQ and all sorts of other problems (Williams Syndrome if you know anything about that) but he was so good with computers he had all sorts of odd jobs even at 15. While I am going the more traditional route that is always an option.

  6. billchelm22 permalink
    March 24, 2010 11:01 am

    Curt / Shonda –

    I saw you both on the Today Show this morning. Congratulations on the new book! My daughter attends the Willow Hill School in Sudbury MA. She does not have Asperger’s but does have similiar learning challenges. Many of the students in the school are diagnosed with Aspergers. The school (and staff) are phenominal. Grade levels are from 6-12. Our daughter went there from grade 10-12 and will graduate HS this year. It might be worth a look.

    Regards and good luck.

  7. glanzer77 permalink
    March 24, 2010 3:21 pm

    Curt and family,

    Our loving, caring and day-dreaming 7 year old son is in the middle of his testing for Asperger’s…we have already basically been told that he has it, the diagnosis is just the rubber stamp.

    I didn’t even know what Asperger’s was 3 months ago…thank you and Shonda so much for putting this book out, it will be a great read for our family.

    Also, the fact that this has impacted Curt Shilling’s son is a big help to me. As a former college hockey player, and my son’s hockey coach, I just thought my son was lazy and non-aggressive, and we spent so many nights as the last ones out of the locker room after I had given him pep talk after pep talk, trying to get him to care about hockey the way I do, and the way his 3 year old brother does. Maxim would just tell me about the Star Wars Legos that he was going to build later…it was soooo frustrating…but now through our understanding of how his mind works I know now that he is just, “the best kind of different”.

    Thanks for telling your story.

  8. March 24, 2010 8:35 pm

    Mr. Schilling:

    I picked up your wife’s book today. I started reading the book this afternoon and have cried through most of it. Our son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome in November 2007 at the age of 8 years old. I can completely relate to your wife’s experiences with your son, since those are the battles we rage here at home, except I am not married to a retired major league baseball player! 🙂 When my son saw the book, he knew who you were and where you played ball – his current obsession is baseball!!

    Tell your wife THANK YOU.

    God Bless!


  9. BU86SoxFan permalink
    March 24, 2010 9:51 pm

    Curt & Shonda,

    Thanks for appearing on Sean Hannity. My son’s diagnosis occurred at age five (last year). In my experience, patience and understanding are powerful tools when dealing with Asperger’s Syndrome. I look forward to reading your book.


  10. March 25, 2010 7:08 am

    Congratulations on a fantastic book! Want to meet Curt and Shonda? Come to their book talk and singing this Friday, March 26 at 7PM in Madison, CT. Sign up here at: Can’t wait to meet you Curt!

  11. sanders7 permalink
    March 25, 2010 11:14 am

    I am so excited to go get your wife’s book!
    My husband and I have 3 boys and a girl also. Our oldest son Todd is 8 and was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at 5. Recently him and our 6yr old son Phillip were both diagnosed with ADHD.

    My husband is pursuing his dream of being an Orthopedic Surgeon and is also gone a lot! While watching you on Hannity last night and listening to you on Glenn Beck this morning I found myself feeling as though you were telling my story!

    I also love the name Grant … that is our 3rd son’s name!

    Thanks for getting the word out about Asperger’s!
    Katrina Sanders
    New Orleans, LA

  12. schillinglove permalink
    March 25, 2010 12:33 pm

    Curt, Shonda,

    We heard your interview today.

    Please know, that for all the hate mail you receive, there are many more of us who LOVE YOU. We respect you. We understand your struggles as parents and share them.

    Thanks for all the good you are doing! (for our veterans, troops, children, etc.)

    It’s worth it!


    Gob Bless!

  13. johnjsmom permalink
    March 25, 2010 1:50 pm

    thank you thank you thank you for getting the word out! april is autism awareness month and there are some wonderful things going on – fundraisers etc. our son was diagnosed at 4 – PDDNOS – they think he will eventually be diagnosed with asperger’s – completely sent our family reeling – hooked up with a WONDERFUL organization called Community Autism Resources (CAR) based in swansea,ma – they service all of the south shore including the cape and islands -they are a nonprofit organization offering services like social skill groups,workshops, field trips (like bowling ,movies,edaville railroad), education consultation etc. all FREE of charge for families with members on the spectrum – please keep them in mind if you ever need any guidance – the staff is dedicated and knowledable – i truly don’t know what we would do with out them – i just got an email that they are having a fundraiser on the 10th of april at the shaws center in brockton ma – its on my calendar for sure – please continue to put the word out and keep CAR in mind – their service is INVALUABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. picard2213 permalink
    March 26, 2010 6:48 am

    Alway magnaminus (you)…very nice interview and session on Imus…you are the reason that atheletes are good role models. It’s unfortunate that other’s (as you and Imus alluded to) don’t live up to expectations.

    Thanks Schil…

  15. claudia12960 permalink
    March 26, 2010 10:47 am

    Hi Curt! I just saw the ABC interview with you and your wife. Thank you, thank you for being so honest and open about Grant’s diagnosis and how it affected your entire family. My husband and I have two sons (ages 22 and 20) with Autism. We along with our 24 year old daughter, are very vocal advocates for Autism Awareness in Rhode Island. Despite being fortunate to have had a few face to face meetings with our elected officials, it continues to amaze us almost 20 years after our oldest’s diagnosis that so little has been done to protect and plan for individuals with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I pray that Grant continues to do well and that you and Shonda continue your advocacy.

  16. March 26, 2010 11:43 am

    Dear Curt Schilling:

    Our son, Eric has regressive autism. He was born normal but regressed into autism after getting the MMR vaccine (and other vaccines didn’t help either). He has elevated measles titer antibodies and tested positive for myelin basic protein antibodies in blood tests. He developed severe aggressions in 1992/1993 after getting 3 hepatitis B shots and he broke two of my fingers with his teeth. He is presently in an out of state residential center.

    I know Andy Wakefield who was at Thoughtful House until recently. There is a vendetta by the UK GMC and others in the medical community against Andy because of his solid research. Dr. F. Edward Yazbak, a retired pediatrician and friend of Massachusetts knows about autism and knows Andy as well. He has a grandson with autism. Feel free to contact me in confidence at and I can put you in contact with Dr. Yazbak.

    Thank you.

    Ray Gallup
    Lake Hiawatha, NJ

  17. chrisandheather2002 permalink
    March 26, 2010 3:12 pm

    Mr. and Mrs. Schilling
    I watched you on ESPNNEWS today talking about aspergers and autism and how its affecting your family. I have a child with aspergers and another child that is more severe autistic so I understand what your going through. I belong to several support groups in my area that inform each other about what services are available or the newest breaking news about this condition. I feel that it is necessary to continue to spread awareness at every media outlet you can as well as helping to find further funding for services or research to understand this better. I am very interested in purchasing your book to compare strategies and just to understand more on how your family has dealt with this. We are looking into strategies at school as well as outside therapy. It will be a life-long challenge for us that we are prepared to do. In case you ever have a chance to write back to us, please so. I would like to meet you one day to share our stories together. I wish you the best with your son in trying to deal with his condition.
    We love our kids nomatter how different they are. When there is a challenge, we just cross that bridge when we get there. By the way, I am also ADHD, OCD, as well.

    Thanks Schilling Family

    Mr and Mrs Messick

  18. noneedforbooze permalink
    March 26, 2010 11:27 pm

    Curt it was nice to meet you and your wife in Madison ct for the book are a both a warm and friendly couple. I told you I was a born-again.hopefully we can stay in touch.I live in Groton Ct.

  19. taylojam permalink
    March 27, 2010 1:39 pm

    I saw you and your wife on Hannity talking about your son. I have recently read about the possibility of food allergies causing kids to act the way your son is acting. It’s new but there are some studies to show the truth in this with lots of kids. Lots of doctors haven’t studied it because there isn’t a drug to take care of the problem. A website with lots of FAQs and stories from parents is:
    You are wonderful parents. I hope this is a help.

    Jim T.

  20. chasevac permalink
    March 27, 2010 6:05 pm

    Curt and Shonda I really thank you guys for speaking out and me and my wife can’t wait to buy your book Shonda. We have a 11 year old with Aspergers and know exactly how you both feel. As you know the worst part is the social aspect with their peers. Our son Anthony is very outgoing but doesn’t know how to read the social cues and sometimes it just breaks us up to see him get shunned by his peers who do not understand his disability. We have found that letting the teacher talk to his classmates about it and educate them more has helped but we are concerned that eventually it will cause further distance between him and his classmates. God Bless you for giving us all a voice and continued success in all life’s struggles.

    Chase & Robin Vaccaro
    BTW I too have ADD but not a good throwing arm 🙂

  21. jfxgillis permalink
    March 28, 2010 8:48 am


    Sorry to rain on your parade, but what an incoherent worthless joke you are.

    Tell you what Mr. Curt freaking Schilling, Mr. Bloody freaking Sock: Donate all your money to charity. Oh, except for eight grand or so to find and set up a household, tide yourself over for few weeks til you find a job and so forth. Then take that wife and kid of yours and move to Alabama or some other of your Red State paradises.

    THEN see how they handle things like “School funding for Special Needs Children” in those filthy backwaters. Maybe you can have the local Pentacostal preacher write the forward for Schonda’s book instead of a specialist from Mass General.

    How do you feel about IDEA funding?

    Always feel sorry for people this miserable with their lives.

    • schillinglove permalink
      March 31, 2010 4:17 pm

      jfxgillis, keep your hate to yourself. Or better yet, go comiserate with your peers at Dem underground, moveon and the other hate-filled echo chambers. We’re not interested…

  22. jfxgillis permalink
    March 29, 2010 12:09 am

    I notice you didn’t answer the question about IDEA funding.

    • endersdragon permalink
      April 3, 2010 3:09 am

      Yea, because it’s not like Obama appointed a guy who cut a cities special education budget by 26.5 million dollars the secretary of education… oh wait… he did. Arne Duncan is the enemy of special education and special needs kids everywhere and Obama appointed him to the highest office in education, and you critize a conservative about IDEA funding. GOOD JOB!

  23. heritageunwrapped permalink
    March 29, 2010 3:13 pm

    Dear Schilling Family,

    We too are experiencing the adventure of life with Asperger’s. It is so true – we don’t dwell on “where” it came from or “how it happened”. We focus on “what do to to make this the best life for our son with Asperger’s – and for our daughter who doesn’t have it.”

    One thing I want to share with you and whomever else reads this who is affected by Asperger’s is through my company, I helped my son publish his own storybook – a single copy for himself (and now family and a few of his teachers have a copy too) of all of the things that he CAN do. It is his “Connor Can” book. All to often, the people around him or images and messages in society tell him “you can’t”. And he is called “weird” or “not at grade level”. This book has given my son both a voice and a reminder of all of the things that he is good at, that he enjoys and that HE CAN DO ANYTHING!

    To help other children and families find strength, hope and an “I CAN” attitude with Asperger’s, I offer a free hardbound storybook credit and then show them how they can go on their own computer, set up a free account and create a custom storybook – and I am here to help you/them every step of the way. With my thanks, I would be happy to do this for you and your sweet son, Grant. For you – or anyone who is interested – please email me at

    We have wonderful, special and amazing children to CELEBRATE and they each come with a very special story.

    Thanks for all you have done and continue to do!

    I look forward to reading your book and finding strength in your story that we are not alone in this. THANK YOU!

  24. commishrwrffl permalink
    March 29, 2010 9:05 pm

    Hi Curt,
    I doubt you would remember, but we met many years ago, when you were still with Phillie. I was a coworker of your Advanced Squad Leader pal, Bob O.
    My son is now 13, and was diagnosed with Asperger’s about 3 years ago. The feeling of being in the wilderness with a special needs child can be pretty overwhelming, but fortunately for us family and friends have been pretty understanding. I try to make connections with parents in similar circumstances whenever possible, as early on someone else was kind and make a connection with me. Always good to ‘pay it forward’ and I’m sure you and your wife will touch many people with the book. It helps to know you aren’t alone, and that other folks go through the meltdowns, compulsions and non-social behavior.
    We’ve also had pretty good luck with schools and teachers, nearly all have been very supportive and helpful, and eager to work with us. It pays to be involved, and to let the teachers know they can count on the parents to be committed. This has also allowed us to ‘pay it forward’ and help others that come along after us.
    Anyway, good luck to you and Shonda, hope the book reaches many folks.

    David Ferguson
    Louisville, KY

  25. March 29, 2010 9:29 pm

    Hey Curt, heard you guys on The Herd the other day talking about the new book and thought the whole story was so very fascinating. It is very brave of you all to share these stories and very important.

  26. March 30, 2010 1:29 pm

    Got Shonda’s book the day it came out. Honest and inspirational.
    Thank you both for talking openly about an uncomfortable subject.

  27. kimba3569 permalink
    May 1, 2010 12:37 pm

    Curt & Shonda, I just finished reading your book today. I was amazing and inspirational, I cried many times and laughed a lot as I saw my child in the book. I have a 9 year son who was diagnosed at age 2.5 with aspersgers and ADHD. Over the last 6 years it has been a struggle to understand him, get him services within the school system that he deserves and to get his father to understand how to deal with him. It is a struggle everyday Reading your book was like reading my life exactly. My son does a lot of things Grant does, like headbut me in the belly, doesn’t like loud noises, etc. I was nice to read a book that didn’t say that there was a “cure” for autism or if you feed your child this kind of food he will be cured. I don’t believe in that and believe this will be a life long struggle and the more you teach him how to cope and live with his strange behavior the better off he will be. It is nice to see that you are an average family with many things to cope with. I wish you the best of luck and hope you make it to the Northern Virginia area for a book signing in the future. Good luck with your journey and god bless you and your family.

  28. bobm29 permalink
    May 3, 2010 6:01 pm

    This book was extremely helpful to me in trying to understand the complexities of an asperger’s child as we are the grandparents of a recently diagnosed 5 year old child with asperger’s . Just as you described in your book we too, were concerned initially that the child was not disciplined for what we thought was unacceptable behavior. Now after much research along with your book we have a much better understanding of this much misunderstood affliction. Also after discovering some of the most prominent people who have this affliction and have very successfully learned to live with it, makes the future look much better than the initial day we received the word that our grandson has asperger’s.
    Thank you very much for making everyone aware of this condition.

  29. redsoxrob permalink
    May 8, 2010 7:17 pm

    I didn’t hear of Shonda’s book until yesterday, and promptly ordered it online. I am not on the spectrum, nor are any of my siblings, but I have friends whose kids are, and have worked with students with special needs for nearly two decades, and am currently in school to become a school psychologist to help kid with special needs more than I have been able to in the past. Like the others, I thank you and Shonda for putting this book out, to let others see what living with children on the spectrum go through every day. You should be extremely proud of Shonda, not only for writing what is an amazing book, but for being able to hold everything down, with four kids and a husband, for as long as she has. I look forward to reading this book, as soon as I have time in between textbooks.

  30. bosoxsfan4life permalink
    May 16, 2010 1:38 am

    I picked up the book today, and finished it already. It was a wonderful book and I truly enjoyed reading it, I plan on loaning it to friends so that they may read it. Curt you and your family are truely amazing and thank you SO much for writing this book to bring up awareness of Asperger’s syndrome. Today, so many schools are quick to label a child as having ADD or ADHD or some other form of learning behavior when it could be so much more than just that. I myself have Asperger’s so I know and understand how your son see’s the world and how hard it is for him but you and your wife have done a wonderful job in raising your family and i applaude you for it. I hope that further down the road your wife will write another book.

  31. tifo1 permalink
    May 16, 2010 7:04 am

    Hi Curt, I am so glad to know about Shonda’s book and appreciate your sharing so many personal stories! I look forward to reading it.

    I’m not sure whether you answer questions or give advice on your blog, but I have a “what-would-you-do-if” one: Our 8 year old son who was diagnosed with Asperger’s at 4, adores baseball. It’s his first season playing on a rather competitive league here in Lower Merion, just outside Philadelphia. He adores the Phillies, as you can imagine!

    My husband and I are concerned with how to deal with the fact that he’s having hard time seeing the big picture of the game–he doesn’t understand that strike-outs aren’t desirable, that he should be able to catch throws from the catcher when he tries to pitch. He misses pop ups, grounders.. In short: he’s not a very strong player compared to other 7 and 8 year old teammates. Our fear is he’s a bit delusional when, after practice, he exclaims how great he is at pop ups having caught none of them (for example). What’s worse is his 17-month younger brother seems to have a real knack for the game and so comes the Asperger’s (or plain sibling) jealously streak.

    As parents, we don’t know what’s worse: that he’s not playing up to par, or, that he doesn’t “know” he’s not playing well. Do your or your wife have suggestions on what you would say to your children in such an instance?! I would never want to discourage him (we’re rooting for him, for sure!) but also don’t want to set him up for failure, either. Kids in the next league up are kinda brutal towards one another but, boy, can they play!

    Thank you so much for reading! Hope to hear from you with any suggestions!! Fondly, Tiffany O’Neill

    • May 17, 2010 6:55 pm

      Tiffany, I’ve been there. My son is slightly older than yours and all I can say as things will eventually become clear to him. For now, I would suggest modeling for him and role playing. Set up situations that happened in a game and ask him how he would feel if he was a different team member, knowing how it would affect the game.

      Don’t make him feel bad about it, just try to lay out the facts and show him how the game is played.

      I hope things get easier for you. I have found modeling and role playing to be VERY helpful for us.

      All the best to you and yours,

      • tifo1 permalink
        June 13, 2010 2:04 am

        @beentheredonethatmama–thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! It’s truly amazing what a few weeks can do: we are thrilled at the transformation in our son’s focus and growth on the field. Practice, practice and as you pointed out, and role playing, have been important strategies. He pitched yesterday, striking two out and catching a tough hit from the mound. He was BEAMING. Isn’t it amazing how baseball is such great therapy for executive planning and processing? I really appreciate the game so much when experiencing it through my son’s eyes. Thanks again for your advice! Best, Tiffany

    • July 3, 2010 12:01 pm

      I’m so glad to hear you are having success. There are always ups and downs, but all the successes give us momentum to keep it up.
      All the best,

  32. June 24, 2010 9:37 pm

    Curt ~
    I am writing to ask your assistance in finding a publisher for an inspirational book, “Patrick & the Giant,” written by my husband, David, who has been battling ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) for the past 14 yrs. He has typed it with one finger over the past year, containing 21,600 words. David is now preparing to enter a Hospice program, as his condition has deteriorated so badly. His wish is to get the book (which is about ALS) published. Is there any way that you could help me to have him realize his dream? David had worked in the World Trade Center for 16 yrs for the Port Authority medical dept. His book is a story, which is both poignant and unexpected, with plenty of laughs and tears along the way. “Patrick and the Giant” is a fast paced, inspirational, fantasy adventure, with the genre of magical realism. There are a number of factors that together help to make this book unique. It is an allegory with the giant representing ALS.
    I would appreciate any help you can provide. Many, many thanks!

  33. escotta permalink
    December 15, 2010 10:46 am

    Curt – just finished Shonda’s book and it really resonated, especially regarding all the complex family relationships and impact. Would like to make you both aware of Franklin Academy ( in East Haddam CT…the only college prep school in the country that specializes in Aspergers students. Our son struggled to learn coping skills and unlock his vast inner potential until we found this wonderful place…which he credited in his senior graduation speech last year with saving his life. He is now in a mainstream college program studying writing, and using all the lessons from Franklin. They work miracles for kids (and families) with Aspergers.

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